Fetal Position can be a sex position!

Welcome to The Cunt Says!

Here you will not only fill your brain with useless knowledge but allow my words to rape your thoughts and fuck your dreams. Let them caress your nightmares and birth miscarried fetuses of cunty ideas.

If you are looking for a blog full of humor, celebrity gossip, incoherent rants and the over usage of the word cunt then this blog will give you the same euphoria that a fat kid gets at a greasy, fast food place.

I had a dream.

No, I am not going to do a spoof of Martin Luther King's famous speech.

I had a dream. It was such an intense dream that when I woke up, my vagina was hurting.

I dreamt that I was swimming in the ocean. I was raped by a shark (I omitted the graphic portion of this dream. It was quite traumatic and quite nautical (NAUGHTY-CAL, heehee)

To make a long story short, I dreamt that I gave birth to a zombie fish.

One might ask...what is a zombie fish. Isn't that just a cooler word for piranha?

For those who might not know what a zombie fish looks like then please I ask to divert your eyes below.

Look at that cynical bastard! Please, I do warn that if you gaze your eyes too long upon this species monstrosity, then your retinas might explode. I urge to quickly glance.

Now please do not confuse this with the comical looking fish zombie. A mistake like that can cause your eyes to rupture. Fortunately, looking at a fish zombie will not cause any bodily harm unless you injure yourself from laughing.

Fish zombies, unlike zombie fish, have fish bodies with zombie heads. Yes, they do look scary but it is funny to watch a fish zombie swim. Watching a fish zombie swim is like watching Jessica Simpson trying hard to make a career through singing and acting. It's hilarious yet quite pitiful.