Weird Product 11

Ever wanted to be like McGuyver?

Ever been in a situation where a paper clip was needed to escape an explosion or to attack villains?

Ever needed a paperclip to construct an Army tank made of paper clips, rubber bands and used coffee cups?

NO NEED TO FEAR!!! The McGuyver kit is here!

Now you can carry this device with you which will allow you to stealthily maneuver out of any tough situations!

PS: A regular paper clip won't work! It must be a McGuyver kit!!

This Week's WTF Is This Shit?! Picture 11

This sexy thing is called the Rosy-Lipped Batfish. Those lips look familiar! Oh yeah! They are! Those are the same lips that inspired many young starlets to get plastic surgery after.

Don't those lips look so inviting. Pucker up (I don't mean your lips either. I meant your asshole!)

If Evolution Went Apeshit Crazy. Yes APESHIT!

Ever wonder what would happened if certain animals bred with another species.

Look no further. I have some pictures for your eyeballs to molest.


Aww look at this Tigeape! Nothing says cool than a tiger's head on a ape's body LOL


If I ever saw this flying at me...Iwould probably run away faster than Jesus on water!



This guy looks mean yet very patriotric.


Aww! Nothing says cute than fangs and slime

Fuck Unicorns. This horsewhale is cooler!

OMG! So cute...imagine a cute baby lionangaroo sticking out from the pouch!

Playing God With Animal Body Parts

If you have seen Napoleon Dynamite, then you know what a liger is. If you don't know what a liger is...it is an actual hybrid animal that is a cross between, you guessed it, a tiger and a lion.




Ever wonder what other "hybrid" animals we can create?

This is what I assume a Lolar Bear is...Yes a Lion crossed with a polar bear. Behold its beauty LOL

Eek...a cobraptile. LOL

So if I shot this bird would I be considered lucky since it has a bunny head if I keep the feet afterwards...its not like its a true lucky bunny foot...maybe it will be considered a good luck talon lol

It's two meals in one. You can have veal and bunny stew!

Nothing says patriotic than owning an eagle dog. LOL

Weird Product 9

Since a lot of Japanese girls have small ta tas, I guess that is why they needed a reason to make fake nipples.

Yes, putting on this product will give the allusion that you have hard nipples.

This is the best product to get if you happen to be a freak born without nipples!

Weird Product 8

Now why the hell would you want your toilets to be faced in this manner? Is it so you can have sensible yet deep conversations about life while you take a shit? LOL

I can just imagine two couples holding hands while grunting trying to pinch out a fat loaf!

This Week's WTF Is This Shit?! Picture 8

Aww! I kinda feel bad for this elephant. You know his ass isn't going to be able to ski...he is an elephant! LOL I feel bad but it is hilarious to see. Imagine if he started water skiing and did jump tricks as well LOL

But then again what do I know..I mean these people look like crazy crackheads to me but they probably are a sweet couple who donates to charities. LOL

Weird Vintage Ads 7

Another Friday....Another Week Of Vintage Ads.

Enjoy!


This ad is promoting the use of tape worms to get rid of fat! Tapeworms!


LOL He suffers from Gingeritis. This kid looks soo creepy! I bet this was Ronald McDonald when he was younger and with no makeup lol Want to learn more about the life story of Ronald McDonald? Then click on the link ( http://duckie2318.blogspot.com/2009/08/life-story-of-ronald-mcdonald.html )



Talk about full blown sexism! LOL

Girl, you are desperate which is why he is running to Marsha's arms. Also, if you weren't such a crazy bitch then he wouldn't be running to Marsha! LOL Marsha....Marsha...Marsha!! LOL

This Week's WTF Is This Shit?! Picture 7

No, this isn't your typical zombiefish.

No, this isn't parasites found in your genitals.

It's an Angler fish. It's those mean creatures you see in the movie, Nemo. LOL

This thing is ugly and weird...hey kinda like your mom's puss!

Weird Vintage Ads 2

TCIF!!! (Thank Cunts It's Friday)

It's Friday, Bitches!

You entered my weekly post labeled, "Weird Vintage Ads"

Now wipe the midget cum of your face and enjoy!

Please tell me why there are scary, creepy clowns stalking about while she is in her bra? It's like they are advertising, "Wear our bras and you will be raped by clowns!"

No Thanks! I pass!

Now, this is just old fashion racism! Why would they show advertise something like this! PS: If that syrup is that good...then I am definitely going to get some! Fo' sho! (Translates to: For Sure...for you crackers!)

LMAO! This is the 1956 Mattel Doll named Allan. He is Ken's "buddy". I don't know if you can see the writing but they seriously printed on the box: Allan He is Ken's "Buddy" (Note: I did not add the quotation marks. They added those to the actual box! LOL) They even printed on the box how Allan and Ken "swap clothes" LOL.

The box shows Ken behind Allan. With a very horny, excited grin. I knew Allan was a bottom! The outfit gave it away!

This sunlamp is so safe that you can even place a baby under it for hours!

This is actual German Radium filled chocolate. Radium Chocolate manufactured by Burk & Braun was sold in Germany from 1931 to 1936, advertised for its powers of rejuvenation. MMM why have regular chocolate when they can be filled with radium..Mmm

These kids are creepy! Why are they looking so mischievous look on their face with Zippo lighters behind them! I feel like they are planning to burn their parents in their bed as they sleep! It's like Children of the Corn but pyro style!

I never knew Santa liked his cigs so much! Hey Santa, do you like to smoke weed too? If so, for Christmas, let's blaze some hydro, bitch, and pass a 40 to keep warm. Ahh! Toasty!

Weird Product 2

It's Wednesday, you fucks! Know what that means?

No its not time for your weekly rectal enema.

No its not "Shave Your Mom's Bush Day"

It's Weird Product Wednesday! I know you just creamed your panties. Now take a moment to wipe...

Now, tell me why, Superman has a gaping hole for his mouth unless comic gay nerds are planning to shove their kryptonite dicks inside his mouth.

I find it disturbing that not only does he look like a stuffed animal blow up doll but the box is labeled with the word Snuggles.

It teaches young boys that after you shove your peen in a mouth, you should snuggle with the cock blower afterwards so they don't feel used.

Grab your Superman Sex toy today! Lol

I am surprised a weirdo didn't go to Comic-con with one of these things attached to its shriveled, tiny penis.

Hmm...maybe I will do that next year! Wahoo!

PS: Doesn't that boy look too happy with that doll...hmm?

Weird Vintage Ads

Welcome to another cunty edition of The Cunt Says!

People were creepy back in the day, I mean, hello ,they did use turkey basters filled with vinegar as a douche. (The fact may not be a fact but a fabrication I conjured up to be funny. Despite my lies, people were creepy back in the day!!)

Well, I came across some weird vintage ads.

I decided I will share these ads weekly with my cunty readers.

Like look at this ad below. LOL

Now why is this little boy so afraid that his father is drinking coffee.
Its almost as if his dad makes his coffee Irish, if you know what I mean, and then goes on a fist-punching-son-in-the-face rampage.

Haha! The fact that he has a pillow on his ass is probably a result from all the incestrous anal raping.




I don't even know if a caption is even necessary for the below picture. LOL




I never seen a cow so happy to get slaughtered. Look! He even has a bib so he can eat himself as well. Its a higher breed of cannibalism. MMM.


So apparently back in the day, children not only snuggled with their favorite doll/stuffed animal but they also nestled with a handgun. They advertise how the gun is so safe that even a small girl can play with it. The bitch looks like she wants to kill. I wouldn't trust her! (I am referring to the doll...creepy!)


Here is another cannibal to the animal kingdom. I wonder what all the foreign shit says. I imagine something to the effect of: Try out meat. Our meat is so good that our own animals will kill themselves because we all strive for the freshest of meats!


Oh fuck! Really! Is it always illegal? I have been going on mass murdering sprees where I was killing anything with a fallopian tube for years and now you tell me it could be illegal! Fuck!