The Cunt Says: newspaper clippings

8/27/09

What The Fuck Does That Say?! Picture 4

LOL Someone must've gotten a divorced! If my bitch did that...I would laugh...but still!...Bitches better recognize!

Oh yeah! I just can't wait to bring my family and friends to the Cook County Forest Preserve. Just because there are a few dead bodies, it shouldn't damper our fun!

LOL!! You are stupid not to buy this house! I mean the blazing inferno should definitely signal you to purchase it! I bet that house won't last...and not from the market..I mean literally...it won't last. That fire looks like its 88 inches from the back door. Yes....88 inches!!!

The Bounty picker-upper is soooo the best way to soak up blood especially from six bullet wounds! Fuck those other brands. They couldn't serve as a tourniquet!

I wouldn't mind eating at a place that has an owner known for murdering and dismembering his spouse.

Mr. Giggles looks like a fun and affectionate pet. I mean with an name like Mr. Giggles...there is no denying his friendlyness!

8/3/09

What The Fuck Does That Say?!

Just another manic Monday here at The Cunt Says!

Now I want to know...where does pork faggots come from? Also, anything labeled Mr. Brain's on my food does not sound tasteful. The "pork faggots" look like actual brains...dipped in rich west country sauce!

Talking about porking, a hilarious headline to see at a magazine rack:

Since we are on the subject of meat, the case of the missing bacon is solved! What a relief! I was up until 5am in the morning worrying about this case (along with bitch slapping some hos since they weren't pulling in their tricks).

Now who the fuck eats five pounds of bacon and considers it a snack! How big is this bitch?!

Here is another newsclipping involving meat. This woman is trying to sell a spacious home...only the home includes something else besides a room with a fireplace...something huge...