What The Fuck Does That Say?! Picture 6

Here are some headlines that make you so confused that you want to smack your own mama's tits together.




ROFL!! I feel like this man was the one on shrooms and hallucinated everything lol





I don't know what kind of person would want 52 tubes of vaginal anti-fungal cream but if I was the employee, I would've either died laughing or I would've been concern for that poor girl who needs all that cream.




OMG! That was my chicken pot pie.



No, kitty! This is my pot pie!

Kitty: Hiss.

Mom, kitty's being a dildo!

Mom: Well then, I know a certain kitty kitty who's sleeping with Mommy tonight.

What?



Thank You! Thank You! That was my monologue. For those who do not recognize the previous dramatic scene from my monologue, it is a scene from South Park with a conversation between Cartman and his mother. I chose to do this scene as my monologue due to the theatrical performance Cartman displayed about his chicken pot pie!




That duck is stupid! Now because the duck refused medical treatment it will be hard now to file a claim. LOL

Man, there has been so many times that I wanted to punch the cunt in the mirror...I still do. She always copies what I'm doing too!

Wow! With a deal like that, why wouldn't I call! Hello people! It's only 8 days old!

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LOL Now this is a vehicle I want to purchase! I mean, hello, it does say it only rolled once in the ad!! It's all good!




This is why you don't copy things from movies! This guy really tried to copy the scene from Amercian Pie...you know that scene where he sticks his peener in the pie! I am glad he burned himself that perv! LOL The newspaper article is hilarious especially the second paragraph!



I know this was probably a very tragic thing to happen to the members of this poor fellow's family members but it is pretty fucking hilarious. I mean, c'mon, he was eaten....by a hippo!! Just too much for me to handle! LOL





Wow! Talk about full blown lazy! These crew workers paved over a dead deer instead of moving it! Paved over a dear!! LOL Was it that big of deer that they couldn't handle the task of moving it? Was the deer that severely decomposed where the workers couldn't move it?

OMG!! How is that fun and lovable! I guess because I am a cat lover (but a rabbit hater for mutiple horrendous experiences with rabbits...one was seeing my rabbits eating their own babies and having a threesome..but anyways!!!..) I don't find this dog something I would enjoy to own..but did they really have to advertise how it likes to eat live rabbits and kittens...NOT KITTENS...aww...lol

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LOL Someone must've gotten a divorced! If my bitch did that...I would laugh...but still!...Bitches better recognize!


Oh yeah! I just can't wait to bring my family and friends to the Cook County Forest Preserve. Just because there are a few dead bodies, it shouldn't damper our fun!


LOL!! You are stupid not to buy this house! I mean the blazing inferno should definitely signal you to purchase it! I bet that house won't last...and not from the market..I mean literally...it won't last. That fire looks like its 88 inches from the back door. Yes....88 inches!!!



The Bounty picker-upper is soooo the best way to soak up blood especially from six bullet wounds! Fuck those other brands. They couldn't serve as a tourniquet!

I wouldn't mind eating at a place that has an owner known for murdering and dismembering his spouse.

Mr. Giggles looks like a fun and affectionate pet. I mean with an name like Mr. Giggles...there is no denying his friendlyness!

What The Fuck Does That Say?!

Just another manic Monday here at The Cunt Says!

Now I want to know...where does pork faggots come from? Also, anything labeled Mr. Brain's on my food does not sound tasteful. The "pork faggots" look like actual brains...dipped in rich west country sauce!

Talking about porking, a hilarious headline to see at a magazine rack:

Since we are on the subject of meat, the case of the missing bacon is solved! What a relief! I was up until 5am in the morning worrying about this case (along with bitch slapping some hos since they weren't pulling in their tricks).

Now who the fuck eats five pounds of bacon and considers it a snack! How big is this bitch?!

Here is another newsclipping involving meat. This woman is trying to sell a spacious home...only the home includes something else besides a room with a fireplace...something huge...

Now why did they have to advertise that the cat has been killed! Why!

On the subject of animals, I can't believe the ban is finally in effect! Damn! Now I have to break the news to those slutty Tihuana girls.

Either it is a very effective camoflauge painting or we are dealing with a bunch of dumbasses.

Wow! I know someone named Homer HendelBergen-Heinzel! I am going to tell him about this!